I've been thinking a lot lately about a song released in 1988, on the album Hot Water by Jimmy Buffett, called "That's What Living Is To Me." It was inspired by the front plate of Mark Twain's book "Following The Equator" (pictured here) about his journey on a steamship around the world. At the bottom of the page, in presumably Mark Twain's handwriting, is the quote "Be good and you will be lonesome" but, in the song Jimmy took the line a step further adding the following "Be lonesome and you will be free, live a lie and you will live to regret it, that's what living is to me."
I was 16 years old when I first heard these words and, to my inexperienced ears they were fairly profound. So much so that I made a screen print of this image for my senior show in college and, it remains one of my favorite songs. For the last 33 years I have ruminated on these words and their meaning. Over the last 10 years I've thought about it a lot during my morning runs usually when it comes on my playlist.
As I listen to the song today, the words seem simple on the surface. "Be good and you will be lonesome, be lonesome and you will be free." However, the existential struggle for me is with the word "good." What is good? Turns out my 'good" is not the same as everyone else's. According to Miriam Webster, as an adjective, "good" means to be desired or approved of and, as a noun, it means that which is morally right. Ask 10 people today and you'll get 10 different standards of "good."
According to that Miriam Webster definition good equates to moral but, does it? If so, then we are now at the conundrum of what is moral? Each culture has it's own moral code. Western morality has changed dramatically over the centuries. For example, in ancient Greece Pederasty was perfectly normal. It was acceptable for an adult man to have a teen male as a lover. Now, we look at this as reprehensible with a completely different moral viewpoint. Even the changes in acceptable morality during my relatively short lifetime are dramatic. If you doubt it think about the behaviors that are common place on TV now versus even what considered acceptable in the 1990's (I'm looking at you MTV Teen Mom's). I won't get into the changes since the 1950's. Despite having the same, centuries old Judeo-Christian moral compass all we have to do is look at any point in that history to see that "good" and "moral" are moving targets at best.
If we continue with Jimmy's addition, "Live a lie and you will live to regret it," we get Jimmy's expansion on the subject My interpretation of his words are be who you are and follow your moral compass because, if you try to be or do what others want or think you should be or should do you will regret that concession or compromise.
More and more I find my own moral compass at odds with and, under pressure by, the morality and expectations of the Now. At times, I feel like the old man yelling at the kids to get off his lawn. At other times, I'm like Cassandra from the Illiad warning the people of Troy that to continue on this path will end in destruction while those around her think she's crazy. Sometimes though, I find myself applauding the Now and it's burgeoning, if begrudging, inclusiveness.
These feelings are close to the surface lately due to various reasons. One tangible reason that immediately springs to my mind involves the new Netflix show "Jupiter's Legacy" (Spoiler Warning) it revolves around an elder hero named Shel Sampson, the Utopian, a superman-like character who lives by "The Code." The Code is simple they don't kill and they don't govern. He is struggling with a younger generation of both heroes and peers that feel the code, in particular no killing, is outdated with the times. While hardly an original story concept, *cough, cough* Kingdom Come *cough, cough*, it's still very well done. You should watch it. I find myself sympathizing with Shel and his struggle to live by the code, his literal morality, while those around him are questioning him and pressuring him to compromise his code.
Though it is a struggle, we have to continue to ask the question "what is moral?" If we didn't question the morality of a time we would still have the abomination of slavery in the U.S. At one point, a lot of "well educated" and "moral" people thought that slavery was morally fine. That said however, there are other common morals that I think are still applicable. I got this list from yourdictionary.com it's not comprehensive but it's pretty good start.
Always tell the truth.
Do not destroy property.
Keep your promises.
Do not cheat.
Treat others as you would be treated.
Do not judge.
Be dependable.
Be forgiving.
Have integrity.
Take responsibility for our actions.
Have patience.
Be loyal.
Have respect for yourself and others.
Be tolerant of differences.
Seek justice.
Have humility.
Be generous.
I need to work on a few of these myself.
"Be Good And You Will Be Lonesome." Doing what you believe is right regardless of what others are doing or telling you does make you feel alone an isolated.
"Be Lonesome And You Will Be Free, Live a Lie And You Will Live To Regret It." If you be true to yourself and your beliefs you may feel lonely but, you won't be burdened by the weight of compromising those beliefs or feel trapped by the lies.
Today, my determination is be yourself, live your truth, and stick to your guns just don't be an asshole. Don't expect others to always agree with your view of morality you will only be disappointed if you do and, having moral flexibility is a good way to strain something.
Maybe it wasn't that complicated after all.
