Be Good And You Will Be Lonesome

I've been thinking a lot lately about a song released in 1988, on the album Hot Water by Jimmy Buffett, called "That's What Living Is To Me." It was inspired by the front plate of Mark Twain's book "Following The Equator" (pictured here) about his journey on a steamship around the world. At the bottom of the page, in presumably Mark Twain's handwriting, is the quote "Be good and you will be lonesome" but, in the song Jimmy took the line a step further adding the following "Be lonesome and you will be free, live a lie and you will live to regret it, that's what living is to me."

I was 16 years old when I first heard these words and, to my inexperienced ears they were fairly profound. So much so that I made a screen print of this image for my senior show in college and, it remains one of my favorite songs. For the last 33 years I have ruminated on these words and their meaning. Over the last 10 years I've thought about it a lot during my morning runs usually when it comes on my playlist.

As I listen to the song today, the words seem simple on the surface. "Be good and you will be lonesome, be lonesome and you will be free." However, the existential struggle for me is with the word "good." What is good? Turns out my 'good" is not the same as everyone else's. According to Miriam Webster, as an adjective, "good" means to be desired or approved of and, as a noun, it means that which is morally right. Ask 10 people today and you'll get 10 different standards of "good."

According to that Miriam Webster definition good equates to moral but, does it? If so, then we are now at the conundrum of what is moral? Each culture has it's own moral code. Western morality has changed dramatically over the centuries. For example, in ancient Greece Pederasty was perfectly normal. It was acceptable for an adult man to have a teen male as a lover. Now, we look at this as reprehensible with a completely different moral viewpoint. Even the changes in acceptable morality during my relatively short lifetime are dramatic. If you doubt it think about the behaviors that are common place on TV now versus even what considered acceptable in the 1990's (I'm looking at you MTV Teen Mom's). I won't get into the changes since the 1950's. Despite having the same, centuries old Judeo-Christian moral compass all we have to do is look at any point in that history to see that "good" and "moral" are moving targets at best.

If we continue with Jimmy's addition, "Live a lie and you will live to regret it," we get Jimmy's expansion on the subject My interpretation of his words are be who you are and follow your moral compass because, if you try to be or do what others want or think you should be or should do you will regret that concession or compromise.

More and more I find my own moral compass at odds with and, under pressure by, the morality and expectations of the Now. At times, I feel like the old man yelling at the kids to get off his lawn. At other times, I'm like Cassandra from the Illiad warning the people of Troy that to continue on this path will end in destruction while those around her think she's crazy. Sometimes though, I find myself applauding the Now and it's burgeoning, if begrudging, inclusiveness.

These feelings are close to the surface lately due to various reasons. One tangible reason that immediately springs to my mind involves the new Netflix show "Jupiter's Legacy" (Spoiler Warning) it revolves around an elder hero named Shel Sampson, the Utopian, a superman-like character who lives by "The Code." The Code is simple they don't kill and they don't govern. He is struggling with a younger generation of both heroes and peers that feel the code, in particular no killing, is outdated with the times. While hardly an original story concept, *cough, cough* Kingdom Come *cough, cough*, it's still very well done. You should watch it. I find myself sympathizing with Shel and his struggle to live by the code, his literal morality, while those around him are questioning him and pressuring him to compromise his code.

Though it is a struggle, we have to continue to ask the question "what is moral?" If we didn't question the morality of a time we would still have the abomination of slavery in the U.S. At one point, a lot of "well educated" and "moral" people thought that slavery was morally fine. That said however, there are other common morals that I think are still applicable. I got this list from yourdictionary.com it's not comprehensive but it's pretty good start.

Always tell the truth.

Do not destroy property.

Keep your promises.

Do not cheat.

Treat others as you would be treated.

Do not judge.

Be dependable.

Be forgiving.

Have integrity.

Take responsibility for our actions.

Have patience.

Be loyal.

Have respect for yourself and others.

Be tolerant of differences.

Seek justice.

Have humility.

Be generous.

I need to work on a few of these myself.

"Be Good And You Will Be Lonesome." Doing what you believe is right regardless of what others are doing or telling you does make you feel alone an isolated.

"Be Lonesome And You Will Be Free, Live a Lie And You Will Live To Regret It." If you be true to yourself and your beliefs you may feel lonely but, you won't be burdened by the weight of compromising those beliefs or feel trapped by the lies.

Today, my determination is be yourself, live your truth, and stick to your guns just don't be an asshole. Don't expect others to always agree with your view of morality you will only be disappointed if you do and, having moral flexibility is a good way to strain something.

Maybe it wasn't that complicated after all.

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Last night was a tough night for west Arkansas. The weather people got one right as tornadoes blew through Arkansas. It was a tense evening watching the storm track through areas where we have friends and/or family.

It's always horrible to watch something like that and be mindful of the danger to others but at the same time be so relieved your family and home are safe.

We woke up this morning to 16 dead and possibly hundreds injured and/or without homes.  Business that I've passed thousands of times completely obliterated.  Homes destroyed down to the concrete slab.

Kinda puts the whole "Monday" thing into perspective.  I'm not an introspective person necessarily.  You can make yourself miserable like that.

I look at tragic situations like this and wonder

Shaken not stirred...

Batman and Robin by Alex Ross

Full disclosure time. If you are reading this and did not realize I was a huge comic book geek now you know.  If you enjoyed any comic book based movie since 1978's Superman and believed a man could fly, you're welcome.  Me and my kind kept the genre alive for Hollywood to rape.  If you are not one of my comic book reading friends turn away now you will be bored to tears.  You that stay probably will be too, can't be helped.

And now the proof.

Cover of Forever Evil #6 by David Finch

Recently DC Comics had a villain reveal the identity of Batman's junior partner (all grown up now) Richard "Dick" Grayson as the superhero Nightwing to the world. They tease that they are going to kill Grayson (they've tried this before with a huge fan backlash) then after suitable drama reveal *gasp* he's gonna let the world think he's dead and be a secret agent. Sigh.

I'm a big (some might argue huge) Batman fan.  I actually grew up with Robin the boy wonder.  Literally. When I was a teen they began aging him.  I was 16 he was 16.  I was 18 he was 18.  I was 22 he was...well , you get it. I grew up and left home he left behind the Batcave and became Nightwing.

He stayed 22 now i'm 42.  They still have a Batcave.  I got the shaft.

The new concept is that Grayson  has been recruited by Spyral, a secret agency (recently revealed to exist in Batman comics) that protects us from god knows what.  Sounds kinda James Bond-ishly cool.  What if Batman didn't wear a mask and worked for the CIA? Not too bad?

This is a horrible idea.  Even before I saw the image I knew this was not good.  The art is by Mikel Janin with covers by Andrew Robinson and so far visually it looks pretty cool.  Based on what I know about comics, (which is a lot) conceptually it sounds like shit.  It's not out yet so I'm going to go easy and review it when it actually comes out BUT really DC?  Really? 

The first image released for 'Gayson' by Mikel Janin

My problem with this concept is threefold.

Perhaps the most obvious issue I have is the fact that the gun is so prominent.  Disclaimer: this is not anti-gun. I am a pro-gun "pry it from my cold dead hands" kinda guy, but it's the focus of both pieces released for the series.  He's pointing it in the direction of the viewer.  It just seems out of character for this young man who has been so thoroughly indoctrinated by the Batman to not use or rely on a firearm to be depicted like this.  I am going to assume that they are going to make a big deal about his promise to not use lethal force. Batman abhors killing and guns (for obvious reasons) BUT he knows how to use a gun expertly and so do his sidekicks.  Character-wise he's an expert marksman Grayson was even a police officer for a time and for arguments sake they they did a good job of him carrying a gun but not using lethal force.  What I don't  like is how important they are making the gun in the images.  It is out of character.  He was taught to use his mind and body as his weapons and guns were for cowardly criminals without super powers or ninja skills. 

Agent Roy Harper art by Dan Jurgens

Second, they tried this same story formula with a friend and contemporary of Dick Grayson, Green Arrow's sidekick Speedy (Robin lite).  Speedy became Arsenal, agent of Checkmate.  It was at times uninspired and other times horrible with a few interesting moments peppered in but really on the whole it sucked.  They eventually brought Speedy back to the superhero world in a grown up version of his mentor's clothes and called him originally enough - Red Arrow.  He even joined the Justice League for a time.  It seems they were kind of forced to make these characters grow up and didn't know how to handle them.  With Speedy the guns made sense.  He shot thing and he shot them at people.  It's what he did and he was good at it. This thing with Grayson doesn't fit.  He had already graduated to an independent adult role with a strong fan following there's no need for the big change.

Lastly, a lot of what makes Grayson or Nightwing work as a character is his history.  Richard "Dick" Grayson has been continually in print as a character for 74 years this month. The character has a long and involved history in the DC universe. Batman is an asshole but Grayson, he has friends.  He's been a leader of several groups, including the Justice League, and is well respected by the other DCU characters, even Superman listens to him.  Batman often used Nightwing as an intermediary when he lacked the people skills to get something done.  DC should be embracing that history and have him interacting with others instead of faking his death and shoving him into an isolated 'pocket' of their universe.

There you have it.  He's the GD Batman. Words by Frank Miller art by Jim Lee.

Their argument is - he's Batman-lite. There's no need for Batman and Batman-lite.  As I mentioned,  Batman is usually portrayed as an asshole. He's borderline psychotic and possibly a psychopath.  He dresses up like a flying rodent and beats the hell out of people.  Bruce Wayne may be suave but Batman has the people skills of a rabid badger.  In a well written Batman story he out thinks the bad guy then beats the hell out of him. Regardless, he's out jumping from rooftop to rooftop compulsively  seeking justice for his parents. Grayson was never the brooding vigilante.  Robin was the bright spot of Batman's world and Grayson continued that as Nightwing.  He enjoyed helping people as Robin and continued as he's got older because it's what he liked to do.  It's not a mission of justice.  It's doing the right thing and helping people because he can. 

The second image released for 'Grayson' by Andrew Robinson

The picture I get is that they painted themselves into a corner by revealing his identity and are now trying to make the best of it.

The thing about comics is it's a place where heroes do extraordinary things they can fly, shoot lasers from their eyes and can manage to stop the bad guys without killing (unless you're and alien or a nazi then they can kill you dead).  In the real world, police officers and soldiers have to shoot people line of duty it a sad necessity but non lethal is always the first option (and last I checked they don't have ninja skills or superpowers). Taking this character that's spent the last 74 years against the need for guns to help people and having him so blatantly tied to a gun seems wrong.  I understand sometimes you gotta shake things up but to me this misses the mark.

*All art copyright DC Comics. All rights reserved.  I wish I had permission to use it please don't sue. The opinions expressed here are solely those of the author and are in no way related to DC Comics or Warner Brothers. 

Do I look fat in this?

I have decided to start my blog up again.  It started out as an effort to chronicle my attempt at the elusive 4 hour marathon.  I will still touch on that since it remains…elusive but, in an effort to keep the blog interesting to me I've decided to talk about whatever is on my mind at the time.  It may be about family, movies, books or just the living of life after 40.  Read at your own risk you could be bored to death.

Today’s blog was inspired by a conversation with my 16 year old daughter.  I drive her to school every morning.  It’s the highlight of most days.  She's everything a parent could ask for beautiful, talented and intelligent.  Some days she sings me show tunes (she LOVES Broadway), sometimes we talk and, on rare occasions like this morning she does homework (we have a 25 minute freeway drive to school).  Regardless of what she does, we are together and I treasure that time with her.

Like I said, this morning she was working on homework she didn't finish last night.  It was for AP Art History.  We discuss this class a lot because I had the same class and even the same teacher.  I loved the class so much I actually got my degree in Fine Arts (absolutely useless except for these discussions).  Can you say “would you like fries with that?”

Good news! Unemployment is down.  Bad news. The jobs are at McDonalds because they got an Obamacare waiver. 

So anyway, she was talking about portraits and brought up the valid point that artists “idealizing” portraits in the past isn't much different than photoshopping a picture today.  I was blown away by this obvious (in a "why didn't I think of that" way) statement.  This got me to thinking.

Some background on this subject may be in order.  In the dark times, before the internets, when dinosaurs ruled the world and before cameras the only way to record someone’s appearance was through painting or sculpture.  Most of these portraits are commissioned by kings, queens, popes and other of the wealthiest class.  It was common practice to make these patrons of the arts look “better”.  It might be either to ingratiate themselves to the patron or it could be a campaign to show the world how much better the patron is than you (Ramses the great, I’m looking at you).  In short, make them look pretty and important so they won't kill you (again Ramses-looking at you).  These portraits were really propaganda and advertising of a sort.

Completely accurate and to scale. Ramses vanquishing his enemies.

Fast forward to lunch break and what do I see on Yahoo! News but the “Truth in Advertising” bill.  This is the U.S. government (2 female members of Congress, Florida Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen and California Congresswoman Lois Capps  along with a male founded feminist website) concerned that photoshopped images in advertising are presenting unrealistic expectations for young girls.  From the Yahoo! article by Elise Sole, "According to the bill, images that altar a subject’s height or weight and erase characteristics such as cellulite, muscle tone, wrinkles, or skin tone misrepresent and deceive people into buying products. The bill doesn't address other aspects of airbrushing such as, say, making a sky bluer smoothing out clothing wrinkles — just as it doesn’t address magazine covers, which are protected under the First Amendment." They are specifically addressing pictures that alter height, weight, skin color, and wrinkles but do NOT address background elements.

(clears throat, steps up on soapbox)

Just so we’re clear, it’s okay to imply that it’s always sunny in Philadelphia by adding a beautiful sunny sky to a photo but not with giving the model a tan by adjusting the skin tone. If I understand this correctly, (highly unlikely) they are urging the FTC (Federal Trade Commission) to get involved.  Full disclosure, I believe the least government involvement in ANYTHING the better.  They screw everything up (now I’m looking at you congress.)  The real caveat here is that it CANNOT affect magazine covers because they are protected by the first amendment.  The only place I can think of that this would truly be an issue is ON A MAGAZINE COVER!  All of the fashion magazines that are so "damaging" use this practice of photo-manipulation to full effect.  Many have gone so far as to make the model unrecognizable.

If they can't target magazine covers who are they going after?  Ads.  Ooookay. Also from Ms. Sole's article, "A study published in the International Journal of Eating Disorders found that women had a more negative view of their bodies after viewing media images featuring thin models, than they did after seeing photos of models with average proportions. And according to the National Eating Disorders Association, disordered eating patterns are linked to seeing images of thin women in the media. "  Carl's Jr. has to change their ad strategy but what about all the tiny beauty queens with big fake boobs working as talking heads on every news outlet?  Will the government next tell us that Fox news has to hire models that fit a height/weight/boob profile? I doubt it. 

As long as we have been recording the image of another human being we have been purposefully idealizing that person to be taller, thinner or thicker (Rubenesqe anyone?) and better looking.  It’s amazing how the shift has come from the government endorsing the “improvement” of the royal portrait to this no altering approach because it will hurt your self image.

Gotta' love a big beautiful woman!

I wonder how many politicians had their campaign photos retouched.  No harm to remove a wrinkle here or a pimple there, right?  Dark circles?  Just wear make-up.  Wait a sec…make-up hides what you really look like in a photo. Wearing make-up does not depict an accurate image of you congresswoman (or congressman I don’t judge).  Heels?  You’re not that tall.  Forget about spanks, girdles and hair color.  It’s time to be honest America.

I found this on the interwebs and thought it was funny.

Wait, what?  Congress be honest?  Let’s not get carried away.   It’ll have to be like Obamacare?  It would have to apply to everybody else but not the government?  That would make sense then.

But I digress, I have a wonderful daughter. She’s beautiful, talented and intelligent, but it’s not the government’s job to make sure she knows that.  It’s mine.  My job.  The government keeps trying to tell me how to raise her and they need to butt out.  This is another example of government waste and ineptitude.  They know they won't make a material difference so the goal becomes to start a dialogue.  Are you kidding me?  This is why 'congress' will always be the opposite of 'progress'.  There are too many real problems in the world for the U.S. to become the Photoshop police. Congress and "Mr." President you need to let parents raise their kids and quit giving out the free phones and handouts.

How about instead you fix the economy before China owns us outright.

(steps off of soapbox)

I think I might've stayed off topic a bit.  All of this from an astute comment by a 16 year old.  For the record, although I quoted Ms. Sole's article there is no disrespect intended here for Ms. Sole or her article OR the seriousness of eating disorders.  She merely related the facts of the bill and the studies it used.  I stole her hard work.  I think it's tragic that we as people feel the need to base our worth in comparison to someone else but we do otherwise we wouldn't have the commandment "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s."

.  

Some People Claim There's a Woman to Blame...

As mentioned before, my lovely wife and daughter got me a fabulous 40th birthday present.  I was to spend a fun filled week on a dive boat in the Bahamas with my buddy Brad.  My wife (a planner) had this worked out 2 years in advance.  She presents it to me on my birthday in March.  Sounds great right.  It is.  Except the trip is for the last week in AUGUST!  Talk about anticipation.

Flash forward 5 months.  I'm torn, I cannot wait to get on this boat but...I've been anticipating it for 5 effin' months.  Once it's over it's over. It's the marathon blues all over again.  It's the Event!  You plan for it. You dream about it.  What do you do once it's over?  Can it possibly live up to everything you've built it up to in your mind?!

T-minus 5 days: I get a call from Brad.  The dive service has emailed a warning.  Tropical Storm 9 has begun to build.  Last chance to buy trip insurance before it becomes a named storm.  2 hours before the official naming I buy trip insurance through DAN (Divers Alert Network).

T-minus 4 days: Tropical Storm Issac is heading toward Cuba and Hispaniola.

T-minus 3 days: Hurricane Isaac hits Hispaniola.

T-minus 2 days: Cuba!

D-Day: 7:45 phone call cancelling trip.

Dammit...it's all about the comma.

Red Rocker Part Deux

Background is complete and now it's time to bring the Red Rocker to life.

 Step 1: As I mentioned in Part 1, I work from back to front so I started with Sammy's face and arms basically all the skin tones.  I use a lot of white and burnt sienna.  I like a small short bristle brush by Windsor and Newton.

Step 2: Next I block in the red tee and lay down the foundation for his trademark mop of hair.  On the shirt I opt for not doing as lot of shading and instead use texture to create flow.

Step 3: Here I added some details to the guitar strap, t-shirt logo, necklace and add some detail to the hair.  The hair is a wild curly main and has layer on layer of color.

Step 4: Here I start blocking in color on the guitar body and neck.

Step 5:  Finish the guitar and clean up a few area.  All done and ready for a nice thick glossy clear coat.

Red Rocker Part 1

I've done several portraits for friends, family and friends of family.  I decided for fun to record the process of my latest one. I've already done one painting for the same person of Tina Turner for his wife. They want to rock n' roll a room in their home. He's a huge Sammy Hagar fan so we're going to add Sammy to the mix.

Here's Tina:

Have some cake!

Sammy is going to be a little different than Tina.  With Tina it's all about the movement, shaking your tail feathers. No airbrush or blending I wanted thick paint and heavy brush strokes with a lot of movement.  Sammy's about ball's out good old fashioned in-your-face guitar rock n' roll.


Step 1 is to get as much info as possible. He chose a photo he liked and a color scheme. Sammy's gotta have red there's no other option. It needs purple in there though to tie it into the room and the Tina Turner painting.

Step 2 Put Sammy on the stereo (that's a really big ipod for those under 20) and hit shuffle!  You gotta have the right mood to paint.

Step 3 Put the picture on canvas.  I made 2- 24" x 30" canvases one for Tina and one for Sammy.  I then use a thumbnail around 5" at the longest and project that onto the canvas.

Step 4 Start with the back ground.  There's more than one way to rock and there's more than one way to paint.  Everyone has their preferences.  I always work from back to front and darkest color to lightest.

I blocked in the basics with a wide flat brush.  I just slapped this on acrylics don't blend easily so this stage was color foundation and texture.  The background is purple and blue smokey stage fog lit by colored stage lights.

Step 5 I am using my airbrush to even out the colored smoke.  I want the background transitions to be smooth so that the bold strokes of Sammy jump at the viewer.

Left Side Before

Left Side After

Right Side Before

Right Side After

BEFORE

AFTER

Back ground is pretty much done come back for part 2 to see how Sammy turns out.

Pirate turned 40

The Little Rock Marathon was behind me and 40 was suddenly here.  I "let'" my lovely wife and our daughter give me my bday present early.  It's a trip aboard the Juliette to scuba dive in the Bahamas for a week with my great friend Brad.  I cannot express how awesome a present this is to me.  I will dive the Bimini Road.  The site everyone thought was Atlantis when it was discovered in the 60's.  A little closer to the trip I'll go into details about it.

The trip was given to me at dinner with our closest friends.  I had a great steak prepared by Brad with a great wine (don't know the name but it was great).  All in all a great night.

The actual birthday day was a bit of a let down.  I was in Vegas for a trade show.  That sounds a lot better than it actual is.

It started off promising.  With Buffett blasting in the headphones I got as a birthday present last year, I took a 40 minute run off the Las Vegas strip as the sun came up.  The birthday run was inspired by a cyclist friend who bikes a mile for every year.  Obviously a mile a year was stupid for a runner so I took some liberties.  I took the picture below with my phone of the sun coming up over the mountains.

I was wearing these.  Do you remember them from last birthday?

Then it was off to work.  Trade show glad handing and sales from 9-6.  That's mountain time so the body says 6pm is really 8pm!  

Then rest of the day was uneventful.  Work the tradeshow.  Most of the rest of the coworkers were tired of each other everyone went their separate ways.  Wound up eating at a deli and learning to play Pai Gow poker.

That was it.  Yay, I'm 40.

I still have my present to look forward to.  Do you think Bimini is really Atlantis?

No Bloody Nipples

Welcome to the 10th annual Little Rock Marathon.

The short version is I survived.

The long version is well... the long version.  My ideal goal was not met.  The sub 4 hour marathon.  Under 4 seems to be the goal for most non-elite athletes.  It was what I felt I was capable of doing.  It wouldn't be easy but I really thought it was doable.  I was wrong.

I'll detail the experience as best I can from start to finish.  To say this winter was mild would be a huge understatement.  I knew if we had a hot day I would be screwed.  It started great.  The temperature was roughly 38-43 degrees to start.  Perfect marathon weather.  My lovely wife Angie came to watch me run for the first time and saw me off at the start.  So far so good.

I lined up with the 4 hour pace group.  It was led by 2 twenty something young women.  The average pace for a 4  hr marathon is 9:10/mile.  They started out at around 8:45-8:30/mile.  In hindsight I understand they had a strategy to make up for time lost later but it ruined me.  I had a good 5K at around 26 minutes. I averaged a 9:05 10K pace.  I took 7 minutes off my previous LR Half Marathon time.  Good so far right?

Now I'm running low on gas and it's heating up big time.  Any other day it would've been gorgeous.

I get to the Hillcrest area around 10:30.  I did not do my homework and check out this part of the course.  It's why the pacers went out so hot.  It sucked.  I cannot be any more plain than that.  I was cocky going into this because of how strong I felt on the hills in the Soaring Wings Half Marathon in October.  After 14 miles the hills were horrible.  My own fault.  Next time I'm prepared.  Stairmaster here I come.

In the Hillcrest area Michelob had a tent set up and was giving out free beer to the runners.  I couldn't bring myself to drink one but I will never say another bad word about Michelob.

What goes up must come down.  The down hill part was okay we'll skip that part.


Bottom of the hill mile 18.  Hello Rebsamen Park.  Why do I remember mile 18 was Rebsamen Park?  because it was at mile 18 in pain at the base of the hills I experienced my first leg cramp.  I don't mean first of the race I mean first ever cramp while active in any kind of sport.  I've had a problem with muscle cramps before. I played most sports available here but NEVER had a muscle cramp while participating.  NO entirely sure what caused it.  I was hydrating.  I was using gelsI was lucky a few stretches and a little walking and I was okay to keep going.


Miles 18 and 19 took forever.  19 to 20 was by the golf course and to your right were all the people ahead of you separated only by orange cones. So easy to just join them.  They all looked so much happier so much closer to the finish.  Eventually we split to the point where there was a median between us.  This section seemed to take forever because it looked like at any time you would be turning around joining all the happy people on the other side.  It's a good thing I didn't give in to temptation and join the happy people early because there was a checkpoint at mile 20 right before you turn around.  Somewhere in this period when it was sunny and 70 degrees i started getting a bit nauseous as well.  Not bad thank goodness, just enough to further piss me off.

I'm going to interject at this time to talk about the various volunteer musicians.  Through the first 13 miles there are bands/individuals playing and/or singing songs for all the runners.  I usually run with a mp3 player but I don't race with it because I really enjoy the variety of live performers along the course.  Thank you to all musicians who performed for the runners at the 2012 Little Rock Marathon.  That said there was a definite lack of live music after mile 13.  There were a couple DJ's and a guitar player.  I will say I really enjoyed the guitar player with his Les Paul and Marshall half stack on the side of the road.  If he had beer I probably would have stopped and stayed to listen.

You turn around at mile 20 and follow the golf course back towards the Rivermarket down Cantrell past Cajun's Wharf.  This is not the most scenic part of the marathon.  I didn't like this part.  It was more walking than running and my spirit was ebbing.  Frustration was high at this point because not only was my 4:00 time completely and utterly screwed but I got passed by the 4:40 group.  The only thing that I can say that's positive about this period is that I recognized where I was and what was necessary to finish.

Mile 22 was a little better but not much.  Mile 24-25 there was another group giving out beer this time I gave in and drank a cup.  I tasted it for the rest of the race.  Glad I didn't give in to the temptation of Michelob.

Then came the Parrothead Club water station.  My neighbors Shari and Les were working it.  The funny part of that is they were in the front looking for me but completely missed me.  They almost jumped out of their skin when I grabbed them and gave them a hug.

Buoyed by seeing friends I picked up my pace a little.  Last mile or so I ran along with a nice lady.  I'm really good at remembering faces but I was mentally fried and could not pick this lady out of a lineup if my life depended on it.  We had a brief discussion comparing notes on the intense desire to either go fetal and cry or vomit.  It was comforting to share with someone so there in the same place at the same time.  I got a bit of a second wind and told I was choosing to vomit and picked up the pace so I could finish as strong as possible.

I did finish.  It took 4 hours and 50 minutes of continuous motion.  It was not the experience I wanted, expected or hoped it would be.  So there are now questions.  Was it worth it?  Yes very much so.  Why?  You learn more about yourself through adversity then through triumph.  Will I do it again?  Right now with 2 months behind me the answer is yes.

Let's catch up

After the personal victory at the half-marathon in October I see in retrospect my mistakes.  Not in the race itself i ran it just as planned.  My mistake was in recovery.  I had a Halloween party that night so after running a personal best 13.1 miles I partied and drank until after midnight (no nap).  Same thing happened on New Years Eve except you can substitute 13.1 for 16.  I was so intent on making sure I got my miles in that I was not resting properly.  You may be asking yourself why do I bring this up in mid January?  It has finally caught up with me.

I was making comments almost daily in my running log about being tired and concern about overtraining and needing a break.  I even went to Runners World and took their "Are You Overtraining?" quiz.  According to the test I was doing fine.  When out of the blue a 24 hour stomach flu. It came complete with chills, fever, nausea and various and sundry GI issues.  Wednesday, Thursday and Friday are shot no running.

Saturday I run my 16 mile long run.  It was tough but I manage with a 9:45 average.  For the first time I'm beging to doubt.  I feel like time is running out and my endurance is not where it needs to be.

I understand the concept.  You train and train and train tired so that by the time you taper everything is great and the energy and endurance is there.  Still sucks.

Mid-Packers Lament

I don't remember where I heard it but the quote was something along the line of any adventure with 100% probability of success was not an adventure.  In essence where's the fun of doing something you know you can do.  It's the uncertainty of achieving the goal that makes the adventure.

                                                                Who's the old guy?
                                                        (photo courtesy Debbie G.)

This Saturday was the Soaring Wings Half Marathon in Conway, AR.  A halfmarathon is 13.1 miles.  The point 1 is probably the most important part.  This was my my second half marathon.  The first Half I completed was the Little Rock Half this March in 2:10:56.  My goal for this one was simple- break 2 hours.

The day was perfect for running.  The temperature was great, lower 40's sun shining.  It was a subdued but happy atmosphere with 1700 people there with the same or similar goal for the race. 
Race.

For most us (mid-packers/age groupers) it's not a race in the traditional sense.  I do not expect to come close to winning the 'race'.  I don't expect to even place in my age group.  98% of us nut jobs who attempt this type of race don't go in expecting to be in the top finishers.  Many don't go in expecting to even finish.

For most of us, it's the adventure.  I think.  I can't really speak (write) for anyone else but that's got to be it.  Whether it's about achieving a goal, weight loss or whatever the adventure is the experience.  There are other ways to lose weight that are less strenuous and don't require race fees or 40 degree (or below) temps.  There are far loftier or more attainable goals to achieve.  So there has to be something more.

I say it's the adventure.  The process.

So , my adventure this fine Saturday was simple run 13.1 miles in under 2 hours.  To do this I found the 2 hour pace group.  A pace group is where an accomplished runner runs at a slower than normal pace for them in order to lead a group at their desired pace.  I had only one race under  my belt and had not followed a pace group.  I wish I had.

This time would be different.  I found the 2 hour pace group and found a spot at the back.  My spirits were bolstered when I found the leader was dressed as Batman.  Yes, I would be paced by none other than the caped crusader himself.

Anyone who knows me knows this was perfect.  I am a huge Batman fan.

My strategy would be simple- keep the caped crusader in site for the first 8 miles and the make my move.  I cussed him for the first 3 miles. He was supposed to run 9:09 miles not 8:45 and not 9:00! This was not a sprint it was a marathon or a half marathon at least.  We had 13.1 miles to go.

As the race wore on and his group tired Batman slowed a bit to the actual 9:09 pace.  I planned on making my move at mile 8 but at mile 6.5 my opportunity presented itself and I took it.  I passed the god d*mn Batman and didn't look back.

At this point I was feeling really good.  I was halfway and feeling strong.  Everything was going perfect.  I had not had to make a restroom break (cost me 5 minutes at LR).  I was passing people left and right.  It was a great feeling like all the hard work and training had paid off...until mile 12.  Mile 12 would've been fine had mile 11 not been uphill.  Miles 11 and 12 were uphill the whole way.  The grade wasn't crazy but it was the cumulative effects that blew.  By the end of mile 12 my time goal for the final mile was out the window.

                                              

My wife encouraged me to finish up with an 8:00 minute mile 13.  Sorry dear, wasn't going to happen.  I wanted to.  She's been very understanding and encouraging of my running.  I wanted to do it for her.  That moment of pride telling her "You asked for it! I did it!"  It just wasn't going to happen.  Not that Saturday.  I still managed an 8:38 final mile.  Next post I'll get my Garmin out and post the mile by mile times.  I think they are interesting to look at.  You can definitely see the hills!

So, big finish I ran hard finished strong and managed to cross the finish line Anyone who stuck around to this point deserves to get the results so here they are.

I finished 35th in the male 35-40 division (there were 77 of us)
I was 387 overall out of 1700.
My official time was 1:57:17 (2:43 faster than my drop dead goal)
Average pace of 8:58 per mile.

To put this in perspective I managed to complete this 13 minutes 39 seconds faster than Little Rock.  It was a full 1 minute 2 seconds faster per mile.

I took Sunday and Monday off now it's back to work for Little Rock Full Marathon.